effective ways to LET GO AND MOVE ON

If someone is rubbing you the wrong way then use these reasons to move on -

Someone’s negativity is rubbing off on you. – You are the average of the people you spend the most time with.  In other words, who you spend your time with has a great impact on the person you are and the person you become.  If you are around cynical and negative people all the time, you will become cynical and negative.

You have grown apart from someone. – Sad but true, no matter what you do or how much you explain yourself, some people will graduallyevolve away from your core values.  As time goes on they will prove over and over again that they are committed to misunderstanding you and clashing with your needs.

You are truly unhappy with your current circumstances. – It’s always better to be struggling at something you love than succeeding diligently at something you despise.  

Your goals and needs have changed. – What was right for you then is not necessarily right for you now.  Sometimes the hardest part isn’t letting go but rather realizing that you have changed, and then learning to start over with your new truth.

Fear is holding you back. – Part of letting go and moving on is facing the fears and disappointments of the past that are binding your spirit.

You catch yourself living in the past. – If all you do is attempt to relive something that has already happened, you’re missing out.  The mental space you create by letting go of things that are already behind you gives you the ability to fill the space with something fresh and fun.

An old grudge is still hurting you. – Holding on to the weight of anger, resentment and hatred will not only hold you back, but also block your present blessings and opportunities.  You’ve just got to drop some things to move forward.

You aren’t learning anything new. – Living is learning.  All positive change is the end result of learning.  If you aren’t learning, you’re simply dying slowly.

Ways to let go and move on.

Accept the truth and be thankful. – To let go is to be thankful for the experiences that made you laugh, made you cry, and helped you learn and grow.  It’s the acceptance of everything you have, everything you once had, and the possibilities that lie ahead.  It’s all about finding the strength to embrace life’s changes, to trust your intuition, to learn as you go, to realize that every experience has value, and to continue taking positive steps forward. 

Distance yourself for a while. – Sometimes you need to take several steps back in order to gain clarity on a situation.  The best way to do this is to simply take a break and explore something else for a while.  Why?  So you can return to where you started and see things with a new set of eyes.  And the people there may see you differently too.  Returning where you started is entirely different than never leaving.

Focus only on what can be changed. – Realize that not everything in life is meant to be modified or perfectly understood.  Live, let go, learn what you can and don’t waste energy worrying about the things you can’t change.  Focus exclusively on what you can change, and if you can’t change something you don’t like, change the way you think about it.  Review your options and then re-frame what you don’t like into a starting point for achieving something better.

Claim ownership and full control of your life. – No one else is responsible for you.  You are in full control of your life so long as you claim it and own it.  Through the grapevine, you may have learned that you should blame your parents, your teachers, your mentors, the education system, the government, etc., but never to blame yourself.  Right?  It’s never, ever your fault… WRONG!  It’s always your fault, because if you want to change, if you want to let go and move on with your life, you’re the only person who can make it happen.

Focus inward. – It’s important to make a difference in the world.  Yes, it’s important to help people, but you have to start with yourself.  If you’re looking outside yourself to find where you fit in or how you can create an impact, stop and look inside yourself instead.  Review who you already are, the lifestyle you’re currently living, and what makes you feel alive.  Then nurture these things and make positive adjustments until your current life can no longer contain them, forcing you to grow and move beyond your current circumstances.

Change the people around you. – Some people come into your life just to strengthen you, so you can move on without them.  They are supposed to be part of your memory, not your destiny.  The bottom line is that when you have to start compromising your happiness and your potential for the people around you, it’s time to change the people around you.  It’s time to join local meet-ups, attend conferences, network online, and find a more supportive tribe.

Take a chance. – When life sets you up with a challenge, there’s a reason for it; it’s meant to test your courage and willingness to make a change and take a chance on something new.  There’s no point in denying that things are different now, or being fearful of the next step.  The challenge will not wait even if you hesitate.  Life only moves in one direction – forward.  This challenge is your chance to let go of the old and make way for the new.  Your destiny awaits your decision. 

Focus on today. – You can decide right now that negative experiences from your past will not predict your future.  Figure out what the next positive step is, no matter how small or difficult, and take it.  Ultimately, the only thing you can ever really do is to keep moving forward.  Take that leap without hesitation, without looking back.  Simply forget the past, look straight ahead and forge toward the future.

marc and angel.

the power of being WELL DRESSED

I love dressing well and take pride in how I look everyday. I believe taking care of yourself and always putting your best self forward makes you happy from within and being happy makes you smile and the world smiles back. The words spoken through this article are as if I am speaking them myself. I was exploring the blogosphere and found two book worthy sites for myself and hopefully you will love also. Shannon from The Simply Luxurious Life was invited as a guest on Sugar and Spice, where I found The Power of Being Well Dressed. 

“A woman is closest to being naked when she is well dressed.” – Coco Chanel

Oprah Winfrey broadcast her last makeover show with her devoted viewers, and in order to say good-bye in grand style, she invited many talented creative artists in their field such as Diane von Furstenberg, Michael Kors, Tory Burch and Bobbi Brown.

After watching the show,  I began to contemplate the goal of a makeover. Each one of us is only as beautiful, as deserving of the life we crave, as we believe ourselves to be.  No matter what we wear, that is a fact that doesn’t change simply by slipping into a nicer pair of shoes.  While it may for a moment, the true inner confidence of the woman wearing the shoes will be revealed.

Coco Chanel's quote is one of my favourite's for this very reason. If a woman is well-dressed, it suggests that she is wearing something that is most flattering on her, that allows her to shine appropriately and allows others to see her as she truly is – thus, being the closest to naked one could ever be in dashing clothes.

What we wear can say a million things, without a word being uttered. So as you go into your closet tomorrow morning and search for what to wear, ask yourself, what message do you want to convey, what energy to you want to project and thus have returned to you? Sometimes we do have to fake it until we make it, but it truly can all begin with wearing clothing that flatters the beautiful woman we’ve always been whether we've embraced her yet or not.

Here are a few of the most significant lessons gained from Oprah Winfrey’s last makeover show where each of the three designers shared their thoughts on fashion and makeovers in general.

1. Trends are not your friend if they don’t flatter your body type and skin tone. – Tory Burch

2. A makeover can’t truly be successful if the person being transformed doesn’t have the desire to handle the opportunity it may bring. – Diane von Furstenberg

3. The clothing and accessories should highlight the woman that is wearing them to reveal to the world her true beauty. After all, as Michael Kors stated, the most flattering compliment one truly desires is that the person themselves looks fantastic, and then the clothes that are being worn are mentioned second.

sunday inspiration

On the blog this week :


simple ways to SIMPLIFY YOUR LIFE

10 small changes to MAKE TODAY

nina proudman's OFFSPRING HOME (returns this week)

the totally inspirational ANGELINA JOLIE

ways to cope with a DOUBLE MASTECTOMY

PARISIAN CHIC a style guide by Ines de la Fressange

special promotion for JUNIOR EPITOME BOUTIQUE

Enjoy your SUNDAY x

style inspiration THIS WEEK

why not WEAR A BOW IN YOUR HAIR

I just love the delicate feminine touch wearing a bow in your hair. Why not add a bow over the weekend for that special touch of pretty.  What are you all up to on the weekend. We are not doing much staying in out of the wind and cold. Have a lovely weekend.

I would love if you could take the time and share my new online children's boutique JUNIOR EPITOME - parisian chic for the petit with your family and friends.

Facebook | Boutique 

ways to cope with a DOUBLE MASTECTOMY

Women undergoing preventive mastectomies are finding unique ways to cope with losing their breasts. There is an article about two sisters who had the genetic breast cancer gene on Body + Soul and they share their story here by having a farewell boobs celebration.

A genetic counsellor ran her through her options – undergo regular screening for early detection or have preventive surgery, which would reduce the likelihood of breast cancer by 90 per cent. But it wasn’t a decision she took lightly. She spent three years exploring her options and talking with her mother, doctors, counsellors, friends and family before signing up for a double mastectomy.

The facts in regards to genetic breast cancer are as follows:

• Testing for abnormal genes has been in use since 1997.
• The test looks for mutations in certain genes (BRCA1 and BRCA2 are the most common) that indicate an increased risk of breast cancer, as well as other cancers.
• Mutations are not common – there is a one in 850 chance of having a BRCA1 or BRCA2 mutation in the general Caucasian population. The number is higher for some groups (such as those with Ashkenazi Jewish ancestry or from Swedish, Norwegian or Icelandic lineage, or with strong family histories of breast cancer).
• Between five and 10 per cent of breast cancers are thought to be caused by abnormal genes.
• The number of women undergoing breast cancer gene-testing has doubled in the past five years.

Ways to cope with surgery

• Set up a support network. Include your family, friends and volunteers.
• Don’t be shy – ask for help. If someone asks, "Can I help?" your answer should be "Yes".
• Write up lists of what needs to be done, as well as a master list with all important contact numbers.
• Always remember the pain will subside and life will return to normal.
• Listen to your doctors and give your body time to heal.     

It's still possible to feel great and have a positive body image after a mastectomy, as these women explain.

Mastectomy is the medical term for the surgical removal of one or both breasts. The procedure usually involves removing the whole breast, and often the nipple and lymph nodes. But while losing such a key part of womanhood is very challenging, it doesn't have to mean the end of life as you know it. You can read more at Life after a mastectomy

I found it important to share as there are so many that go through this procedure and reading others experiences can help guide and maybe even a light at the end of the tunnel.

To all those going through breast cancer or a mastectomy I wish you all well and send loads of courage and hope your way. xx

special promotion for JUNIOR EPITOME BOUTIQUE

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style inspiration PARISIAN CHIC

Parisian chic styles I love.

PARISIAN CHIC a style guide by Ines de la Fressange

I have this book and I have to say it has helped me change and refine my style from day to day. This bible is my go to when ever I am stuck with ideas on how to style and what to buy.




Build your closet on the foundation of the Magnificent Seven, which includes

1. A Man's Blazer

2. The Trench

3. The Navy Cashmere Sweater

4. The Tank

5. The Little Black Dress

6. The Perfect Jeans

7. The Leather Jacket

For each of the magnificent seven Ines shares how to adapt each piece into anyone's wardrobe, a list of fashion faux pas, a lux celebrity style idea and a hall of fame reference.

I look forward to sharing with you every Thursday on how to style each of The Magnificent Seven.

my top 3 WITCHERY + MADISON COLLABORATION

one | two | three

the totally inspirational ANGELINA JOLIE

Angelina Jolie shared her story with New York TImes  of her preventative double mastectomy: "Life comes with many challenges. The ones that should not scare us are the ones we can take control of."

All over the media outlets is that Angelina Jolie has had a double mastectomy, I feel for her but I believe if you are at risk, why not? It is a huge dilemma faced by women who have, or have had or may be at risk to breast cancer. 

'Angelina Jolie stunned the world when she revealed she had undergone a preventative double mastectomy today.

The actress had her first surgery to remove her breasts on February 2, completing the process with a complete reconstruction, including implants, on April 27.

She has described her new breasts as "beautiful" and says she is relieved her six kids won't have to worry about her succumbing to cancer.

"I can tell my children that they don't need to fear they will lose me to breast cancer," she wrote.' 

The Australian Women's Weekly

The final stage of Jolie's double mastectomy involved reconstruction of the breasts with implants.

But Jolie says she does not feel any less of a woman.

"I feel empowered that I made a strong choice that in no way diminishes my femininity," she wrote.

"For any woman reading this, I hope it helps you to know you have options.

"I want to encourage every woman, especially if you have a family history of breast or ovarian cancer, to seek out the information and medical experts who can help you through this aspect of your life, and to make your own informed choices."

The Breast Cancer Network Australia has thanked Jolie for speaking out.

It says while most breast cancers are not hereditary, 5 to 10 per cent occur in women whose families carry the BRCA1 or BRCA2 gene mutation, which is passed down through the family. - abc

Although it is a huge decision and one that we may have to consider I know I would have the double mastectomy too. We have a life to live and if this is what we have to do so be it.

Would you consider the double mastectomy if you had the gene?

image

nina proudman's OFFSPRING HOME

Just had to refresh and get in the zone OFFSPRING returns next week. 

10 small changes to MAKE TODAY

Making small changes in our everyday life can make a huge difference to the mundane daily tasks. This can  give you a fresher outlook and change your day in the most simple way. A change no matter how small can be as good as a holiday.

1. Switch up your typical responses. When someone asks how you're doing, do you often reply in the exact same way, such as with the word "Fine." or "Great!"? Most of us have a pretty standard default setting for the way respond to questions we hear all the time. To switch things up, start altering your responses. Really think about the question and answer honestly. 

2. Travel an entirely new way to school or work. It's common to take the exact same route every day (mostly because it's the fastest or easiest one to take!), but what if you switched it up and took a different route? Even if it takes a little more time, it's worth traveling down a new road just to give your brain a new point of view to take in. You don't have to switch it up every day, but it's worthwhile every once and awhile. 

3. Throw out / replace something you complain about. Is there something you're always complaining about? An appliance that doesn't work right? A shirt you don't like but for some reason wear anyway? Most of us have something like that—a thing we moan about but don't do anything about. Today, throw it out or replace it with something else. Sometimes our complaining is simply a habit—and it's up to us to change it. 

4. Focus on doing one single thing at a time. If you're a notorious multi-tasker try focusing on a single activity. Studies have shown that you're more effective if you do only one thing. And, for most of us, intently focusing on a single thing is actually quite a novel activity in itself. Keeping your attention narrow gives you a chance to stay more present too!

5. Take a break at an unusual time and go for a walk. Being outside, even for a short while, seems to offer all sorts of benefits. Take a break at an unusual time—say, 10am instead of 1pm—and go for a short stroll. Switching up the timing of your break will break you from a rut, and enjoying the outdoors gives you an opportunity to appreciate the world outside of your daily routine. 

6. Get into bed an hour earlier than usual. Like it or not, youneed sleep. Most of us know how much we need, but rarely actually get that amount. Even if you can't fall asleep right away, getting into bed an hour earlier—with a good book or even a journal—can tweak your nightly routine and, if you're lucky and can fall asleep, it can also provide you with some additional rest.

7. Enjoy a meal you've never had before. It's perfectly fine to have culinary preferences, but there's something to be said for trying a new meal. Whether you order in or cook it up yourself, give something new a try. Even if doesn't make your list of favorites, the experience of trying something new will be invigorating and, at the very least, will help you switch up your routine. 

8. Turn off the TV + pick up a book. Mindless television watching can be lovely, particularly after a long day, but tweaking your evening routine and throwing in a book (or magazine or something other than a screen) can provide you with a new kind of relaxation. Even if you're not a big fan of reading, just give it a try. You might find it surprisingly enjoyable, snuggling up with a good read. 

9. Spend time with someone unfamiliar. Now, don't just go running over to some stranger to switch things up. It's important to spend time not with someone random, but with someone you know but aren't too familiar with, like a coworker you interact with frequently but don't know well. Ask him or her to grab lunch or coffee with you, even if it seems a little random. You never know when you might make a friend!   

10. Reverse a habitual schedule. Do you have a pretty standard morning or evening routine? If so, trying reversing it. Instead of brush teeth—wash face—brush hair, try doing the reverse. Or if you normally eat breakfast at home, try grabbing a bite on the way to (or at) work. It might seem silly, but small little tweaks to your routines can be really useful, especially when it comes to being more mindful. 

image | positively present

simple ways to SIMPLIFY YOUR LIFE

I am sure we would all love to make life simpler, easier and more efficient. If we simplify the day to day routine as much as we can then we are able to slow down and enjoy moments. Ways to make things a little easier in different aspects of your life can be as simple as....

• Turning off all social media including your mobile phone.
• Checking your emails and delete the unnecessary ones as soon as possible instead of letting them build up.
• Going to bed a little earlier.
• Reducing commitments when you can.
• Creating a meal plan and shop for ingredients at the beginning of the week.
• Fixing your finances, direct debit is so easy and convenient.
• Cleaning out and de-cluttering as much as you can, when you can.
• Adding items to your list as you think of them.
• Planing ahead with what you are going to wear the next day.
• Making time to spend with others.
• Jotting things down as you think of them and then you can refer back if you forget.
• Unsubscribing from emails and newsletters you no longer read.
• Apologising immediately if you feel you have done wrong.
• Enjoying each moment and take the time to really see the little things.
• Asking for help.
• Trying not to get caught up in another's drama.
• Being positive.
• Starting a journal.
• Finishing old tasks before starting new ones.
• Creating a routine and stick to it as much as you can.
• Making time for you even 10 minutes a day.

Have you got any tips you would like to add that 'Simplify Your Life?'

Happy Mother's Day!

To all Mother's everywhere - Happy Mother's Day! May you be able to rest and put your feet up. xx

7 ways to BOOST YOUR CONFIDENCE

Psychologist Cynthia Hickman takes a look at some simple ways to boost self confidence - starting with one thought for each day of the week. Be positive and boost your confidence......

MONDAY

The cliche "look good, feel good" is actually true. If your appearance looks confident and at ease, your feelings will follow. So it's important to pay attention to your appearance including your fitness, grooming and clothes. And keep the environment around you clean and ordered. These things create internal confidence.

TUESDAY

We drain much of our confidence by our own negative thinking. But thoughts are just thoughts - it doesn't mean they're true. Catch the negative thoughts, flick them away and replace with encouraging thoughts. You may need to do this a hundred times a day. Don't worry, it will improve over time.

WEDNESDAY

Our body holds meaning. If you slouch and droop your head, you look like you lack confidence and will feel this way too. The beauty of the body is that we can choose to change it regardless of how we feel. Positive energy will follow. Imagine you feel confident, then get your posture to match.

THURSDAY

Many of us have internal issues that diminish our confidence. There may be emotions, situations or relationships that have influenced our self-perception. Get these in perspective. Critics reveal more about themselves than the person they criticise. So don't take things personally.

FRIDAY

If you treat someone well and give them encouragement, they blossom. Why would you be any different? How can you feel good about yourself if you treat yourself with disregard? Bring your attention back and treat your own self with the care and consideration you know you deserve. 

SATURDAY

You can't feel confident if you aren't grounded in your own self. Breathe gently. Feel the breath going in and out with gentleness. Let that gentleness flow down into the body. Then anchor yourself in your own heart. Put your hand on your chest and say, "Here I am. I'm on my side. I deserve to treat myself well."

SUNDAY

Start with small goals. If you aim too high you may scare yourself off. Competence is built slowly with each small success. But do get started on something. Sitting on the couch in self-pity and fear feeds negativity. Feedback from a self in action creates the building blocks of confidence.

Body + Soul

loving for MOTHER'S DAY

I am in love with the Dream Collection from S&P. I have bought myself the teapot and the mug. I bought the tea cup and saucer for my mother in yellow. A piece of sunshine for her everyday.